Friday, January 22, 2010

From " Whimpersnow Edition"

Morning Roundup: Whimpersnow Edition

Hunt said he estimates it would cost $500,000 to "sweep it out and turn on the lights"

That, in a nutshell, is everything that's wrong with America.

One of Fenty's frat brothers will win exclusive development rights in a multi-million-dollar no-bid contract. The City Council will demand a review of the contractor selection process, but will back down after Peter Nickles insists there was no wrongdoing. He will then send the contract to the Council as part of a collection of two-hundred other no-bid contracts and insist the Council approve them up or down. Council will cower in a corner and beg not to be hurt. Meanwhile, the Mayor will be out-of-town attending a fundraising fixie race for oilsoaked billionaire Middle Eastern perverts. Over the next two decades, the still uncompleted Dupont Circle Underground/Jim Graham/African-American Civil War Memorial/Cricket Cellphone Gallery becomes the largest hub of CHUD/Morlock activity on the East Coast, forcing the Council to issue a multi-million-dollar no-bid contract to Ghostbusters, LLC (a wholly-owned subsidiary of Fenty Frat Brothers, Ltd.)

The safety zone workaround seems pretty easy to me. Instead of creating "safety zones" where penalties are higher, the Council should just designate everything outside the "safety zone" as an "less-than-safety zone" where penalties aren't enforced at all. Isn't that basically what we have now anyway?

[Commander Salamander is closing???] See, I was never much into Commander Salamander. We spent most of our time watching porn and Bergman movies at the Biograph, trolling that record shop where the owner walked around town barefoot, or loitering at the head shop. And making 8mm silent movies in the old abandoned laundry plant that's now the cinema googolplex.

Chess King is alright if you're looking for a daishiki, but is no Up Against the Wall or Cavalier Clothing. Because nobody takes you seriously in this town unless you're wearing a lime-green three-piece, gold studs, and white Stacey Adams penny loafers. Straight UP.

[Is SMASH still open?] Nope. They're selling $5 cupcakes or gourmet dog biscuits or something. Hard to tell the difference sometimes. Hey! Hard? Biscuit? That's a joke, son! What's the matter, Dog? You look like two miles of bad road.

Who was it who said, "Punk died the day someone said, 'Punk's not dead!'"?

It's over, man. Let her go.

That white translucent black cape? Put it back on the rack.

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