Wednesday, January 20, 2010

From "Sayonara, Supermajority Edition"

Morning Roundup: Sayonara, Supermajority Edition

Ha! Nickles gives the Council the fingeroo and the Council blinks. So much for administrative oversight. I give it another 18 months before an audit finds that all the contracts went to a single Fenty frat brother known only as "Shemp" and all the money went to a Cayman Islands offshore holding company, where it was used to stockpile ambulances, peaceahol, dome wax, Thai she-male hookers, Immodium, fixies, lycra and spandex, American Apparel body stockings, and Nexus-6 pleasure units, the standard item for military clubs in the outer colonies.

Okay. So the guy who got tased to death just finished a 10-year prison sentence, was a registered sex offender, addicted to PCP, living in a homeless shelter, getting kidney dialysis, ended up in the hospital for excessively high blood pressure, went back to being a serial shoplifter, and the cops were after him as a suspect for stealing a bar of soap and hair clippers. Can this get any more depressing? Why, yes it can! It's called "multi-million-dollar wrongful death suit."

You were the chosen one! It was said you'd destroy junkpunching, not join it!

*sniff* You were my brother, Monkeyrotica. I loved you. In that way. [demonfafa]

From my point of view, the Jedi are evil. Don't lecture me, demonfafa. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace, justice, freedom, and security to my new Empire. Don't underestimate the power IN MY PANTS.

Where is Molly!?® Is she safe, is she all right?

I'm afraid she died. It seems in your anger, you choked her with an American Apparel body stocking.

I couldn't have! She was alive! I felt her! She was alive! It's impossible! NOOOOOO!!!

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