Friday, January 8, 2010

From "No Snow Day for You Edition"

Morning Roundup: No Snow Day for You Edition

I thought obscenely expensive real estate was supposed to be a good thing? Y'know, an indicator of increased market demand for a finite resource? The only problem is when you end up with block after block of sterile office high rises that go empty after 7pm with zero ground-floor retail and even less foot traffic. But the name of the game is generating maximum tax revenue per square foot, not creating livable, walkable, mixed-use environments. Gotta fill those tax coffers so the Council can spend money on... on... whatever it is they're spending money on. I forget. Something about rainbow-farting unicorns and gold-plated bidets.

Almost 600 staff and teaching positions would be cut, general education summer school wouldn't be an option, and students at 32 elementary schools no longer would participate in a program that verses them in languages from Arabic to Chinese and Latin.

No, not Latin! We're running out of dead languages to study! All that's left are Mayan, Cretin Linear B, Esperanto, Klingon, and 1337. There is no emoticon for what I'm feeling!

In another hit to athletics, participants would pay a $100 fee per sport next year.

Why not make it $200 per sport, but throw in all the Latin geeks they can beat up? This would generate more revenue for Jockey McJock's precious alpha male monkey programs and discourage geeks from learning obscure latinate phrases. Maybe if they'd had these programs in the 1950s, George Will wouldn't be choking the papers with his "casus bellis" and "Honi soit qui mal y pense" and "Well."

No comments:

Post a Comment