Tuesday, January 12, 2010

From "Man Up, Gray Edition"

Morning Roundup: Man Up, Gray Edition

Ted Loza should run for Mayor. Life in DC was much simpler, predictable, and entertaining with a convicted felon in the Mayor's office. As it is now, a bunch of frat boys get 90 option-year contracts to do absolutely nothing for a billion dollars, and the whole mess gets rubberstamped by a wishy-washy vampire and his aberrant coterie of cannibals, necrophiles, light pollution fetishists, and Blame-Jumbo-Slice-Firsters. I'm ashamed to be an American today. It must be Tuesday.

So if at some later date, it's determined that those $1 billion in contracts actually went to Peaceaholics to purchase ambulances, child porn, roundtrip air fare to the Dominican Republic, gold lamé Luis Vuitton handbags, and peaceahol, who gets the blame? Fenty? Gray? Nickles? Or will it be conveniently placed on the head of a certain hirsute illegal immigrant who has taste for bamboo and public sex? Because I'm pretty sure Marion Barry has an alibi.

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