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About Monkeyrotica
Filling the hole after DCist's Magical World of Monkeyrotica shut down. A leader among DC's blog commentati, he quips it up with the best. If ever you find a quote of his is worthy of shining the light of Wit on this page, please alert me. Monkey's clever bon mots will be added when noted.
Morning Roundup: Out with the Aughts Edition
So garnishing that $7.50 an hour to pay back the people they robbed would be "cruel and unusual punishment," right? What do you call guys in wheelchairs robbing people at shotgun point then rolling slowly away from the cops? "Monday night on H Street." Maybe we can retrofit this guy's wheelchair with a plow so he can shovel off H Street. Maybe we can put Poopy the Magic Hobo on an all Taco Bell Volcano Taco diet and turn his soilage into muy caliente de-icing fluid. They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father or President Truman. Decent men who believed in a day's work for a day's pay. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloody Hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers... and all of a sudden nobody can think of anything to say.
My New Year's resolution? To put on a Molly® mask, Rorschach Underoos, and a diaper and drive around in a van with a talking dog and a stoner and solve mysteries.
No capes!
Now, a FRIED bologna sandwich, that's good eating. Almost as good as fried salami. It's like cylindrical bacon, all crispy and greasified. With extra mayo. Mmmm-mmm. If they served that three times a day in prison, the population would drop three-fold. Hell, just serve those deathrow last meals every day: burgers, pizzas, steaks, scotch eggs. You wouldn't need a death penalty.