DCist Morning Roundup: Awkward Cranking Edition
Nice to hear that fat f**k Happy the Hippo is having a great time with his diseased whores. Like most celebretards, he's probably badmouthing DC as we speak. "Yeah, it's a nice town, but that crackhead is still on the Council. And you can't walk down the street without some hobo asking you for money or telling you that hippos should be on a leash. F**k that $h!t! I was so glad to get out of that third world $h!thole Isengard wannabe jerkwater burg. It's nothing like Australia. And it's "Daddy" you @$$hole! Where's my bourbon? Mmmmmm. Now it's dark."
It seems strange to have to lie about a world so bright and tell instead a made-up story from the world of night. I wish that I could really tell you all the things that happened to me and all that I have seen. A world full of people their hearts full of joy. Cities of light with no fear of war, and thousands of creatures with happier lives and dreams of a future with meaning and no need to lie, no need to hate, no need to hide.
No. Keep it dark.
DCist: come for the thought-provoking articles, stay for the wallowing in crapulence.
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