From "Selective Enforcement Edition"

Morning Roundup: Selective Enforcement Edition

I've always thought that admitted pedophiles who slip 13-year-olds roofies so they can anally rape them should definitely not be prosecuted if they're really nice and make cool movies and send flowers to their mothers on Mother's Day before they slip them roofies and anally rape them.

It's not like this case was an anomaly. Roman got into Sharon Tate's pants when she was 15, did the same with Nastassia Kinski, and a whole slew of nymphettes for the past 40 years. Dude's a serial molester, albeit a rich, well-connected one. Sure, his trial was a kangaroo court sham and the victim wants the prosecution to end. That doesn't change some basic facts involving roofies, teenage anuses, and Roman Polanski's wang.

Age of consent in France is 15, y'alls. Gay or straight. Time to get me some of that cheese-eating surrender-monkey booty, a Royale With Cheese, and some fries drowned in mayonnaise. Yee-haw! Sell my pants, I'm going to heaven.

What, exactly, will be accomplished by sending him to jail?

Gosh, I have no idea. Justice?

Polanski deserves compassion because of (a) his age; (b) the long span since the crime occurred; (c) the fact the crime left little lasting impact; and (d) yes, Polanski's other gifts to humanity.

And the same goes for Nazi war criminals, particularly the anal rapist pedophile variety. Just so long as they were low-level Nazis who didn't actually put Jews in ovens and so long as they donate cans of pumpkin pie filling at Christmas.

And by "gifts to humanity" I assume you mean "his penis in an underaged girl's posterior"?

You know, if they found that Michael Kenyon was framed and that the real Illinois Enema Bandit was a senile geriatric film director, I'd still want him prosecuted. It doesn't matter if all those retired sorority girls forgive him and are actually glad that their colons are sweet and clean. It's the principle that matters.